A month

It's been a month (Saturday). It still feels like yesterday.

Things are better, I can't say that it still stings just like it was yesterday, but...it still is what it is. This week I took a vacation and took my mom down to visit her father. The whole trip did nothing but remind me of why I was there -- to take my mom to visit her father, because my father can't.

Someone suggested some reading to me - it's called The Shack. Whoa. Double whoa. Was not ready for that. I'm about half way through it .. I had to put it down. I just couldn't go there, not yet.

We're all trucking along as best we can. We're all dealing with our grief differently. My sister is probably fairing the best -- she has a family she can lean on (husband). My mom and I...not so much. My mom is doing the best she can, but yes -- she is a mess. You can't be married for 41 years and not be lonely. Which is what she keeps saying, she feels so very alone. I don't understand, but I do.

Just trying to breathe right now. Deep breath in -- out.

Whew.